“Everybody has a story”
While I know this, I seem to have lost my voice. Or perhaps what I’ve lost is my focus and I can’t remember my story. Oftentimes my life keeps me running so fast I can’t remember who I am or how I got here.
Many days I wake up tired and I go to bed exhausted. Days roll into weeks and before I can even comprehend what is happening or give it a second thought, a year — a WHOLE YEAR — has passed.
How did THAT happen?
I’m all about setting and meeting goals, preparing and completing “To Do” lists. Our house? While not the showpiece of the neighborhood, it’s tidy. The dogs? Healthy. Our marriage? Not without it’s ups and downs but we love each other and we’re determined to not let any obstacles or challenges destroy us. Or each other.
All this is to simply say: I don’t sit around and do nothing. I do stuff. Daily. I’m busy. Too often, I’m too busy. Type “A?” Guilty.
And maybe that’s the point.
My One Word for 2014 was “Focus.” My goal for 2014 was to focus more on the important than the urgent. Looking back over the past twelve months, I could throw my hands over my face and cry about how miserably I failed at Focusing.
I have plenty of excuses: work, work, and oh yeah … work. I’ve promised Hub, my parents, and my life group sisters to cut back and not work so late at night. I even promised to not work on the weekends.
But there’s always that “one thing” that needs to be taken care of …
Really, who am I fooling? Urgent matters really aren’t that urgent. Especially when they’re at the expense of the important. ESPECIALLY if they’re at the expense of the important! If I’ve learned anything this year, I’ve learned this.
So maybe I didn’t fail as miserably as I thought I did. I can beat myself up over where I think I failed in 2014 OR …. I can move forward and stop this cycle of regret.
I choose to move forward.
I read a dozen or so books on a variety of topics in 2014. They all centered around one common theme: No matter how badly I fail at serving others or miss the mark on meeting timelines, or choose Urgent over Important … I am loved:
- By a God who calls me child
- By a husband who is my rock, even when I drive him nuts with my obsessions
- By close friends & family that understand my absence is not personal and I’ll be there in a heartbeat if they need me
My story, my voice? It’s been here all along. I just had to stop. And listen.