There have been a few days lately where I feel as if I’ve swallowed a bug and just can’t get the nasty taste out of my mouth.  There’s no other way to describe it.

Hub & I have been walking through a long season of growth.  We’ve had brief respites, which have been blessings.  I enjoy the respites, although I have mistaken them each time as the end of the season.

Our latest respite ended abruptly two days ago.  I was so upset that I actually began crying, pleading to God, “How much longer?”  Hub, the Lord love him, shared that he is oddly and thankfully at peace.  Hub’s becoming my rock.  This is such a turn-around from the past where I have been the strong one.

Is this the lesson we’re supposed to be learning?  She asked reflectively as she watches the sun slowly rising in the eastern sky …

Some colleagues and I were talking the other day about ways we relax and de-stress.  Actually, they were talking … I was listening.  One cooks, another reads, another runs.  I wanted to join in the conversation but I didn’t.  I can’t explain why. I sat silently by with my head down, working quietly.  And listening to the conversations going on around me.

Looking at my profile, I describe myself as “quiet and serious.”   So I wonder: is there a time when being quiet and serious goes too far?

There’s a quote from Dr. Seuss that I came across several years ago.  I think about it every now and again:

Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don’t Matter and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind.

Every time I think about this quote, I receive the affirmation I need:

• There will be times when no matter what I do or say, the situation will leave a bad taste in my mouth
• It’s okay for me to need to lean on others for support
• I can allow myself to be quiet
• Sometimes the smart thing to do is simply smile & nod

While I might not like certain aspects of my life … and I’m working on those areas … most of the time, I’m comfortable with who I am.  I had my “15 minutes” of fame and it was hard work being “that” person.  “That” person wasn’t who I am, it was a persona.  No one who knew the persona knew the real me.

Another quote comes to mind.  I don’t know who wrote it; I found it on a piece of “flair” a couple of years ago and immediately committed it to memory …

I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.

My birthday is right around the corner.  I’ll be hitting a milestone in a few years.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  Think it’s time to smile & nod …