Dandelion Seeds & Onion Skin

Returned from an EXCELLENT two-miler about 30 minutes ago & I had a whole blog entry … a rant, really … composed in my head.  I changed my mind about the rant, though, and I’ll tell you why:  I was thrilled to be able to put my Saucony on my left foot.  I was thrilled to feel nothing … no pain, nada … when I took those first steps down my street.  I was thrilled with my pace.

After three weeks of not being able to do anything without some measure of serious pain … this morning was a real thrill!

So why the rant in the first place?  Well, I’ll tell you:

I realized yesterday that someone who had been very close to me for many years made a fool of me and I was angry.  I pouted about it all yesterday afternoon and really couldn’t fall asleep last night until I turned it over to God.  I, of course, took it back from Him when I woke up this morning and I stewed on it as I got ready to head out the door.

That anger propelled me forward through my first mile to my turnaround point.

And then I let it go.  All of it.  The anger, the humiliation, the disappointment, the embarrassment, the feeling of betrayal.

My turnaround point is at the top of a hill.  Imagine little dandelion seeds floating away on the wind or the outer layers of an onion falling away.  This is how I felt as I left all that ugliness and hurt at the top of that hill.

While I’d love be a Pollyanna and say I skipped merrily home with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, I can’t.  I still feel sad and empty.  I know these feelings will fade with time and I’m okay with this.

What really matters is my foot is healing, I had a GREAT workout this morning, and after three weeks of wanting to workout but not being able to, I’ll never … EVER … take my feet (or any part of my body) for granted again!


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