6am I woke up with the worst feeling … the feeling of incompletion. Then I realized why: I hadn’t finished a few things yesterday. In the realm of my job, they were very important and needed my attention. So I raced downstairs, got those few very important things done, trudged back upstairs, and went back to sleep.
I slept until well past noon. Must have been pretty tired.
As I was munching on my lunch/breakfast sandwich, it dawned on me: Even if I hadn’t attended to those last few things this morning, the world was still spinning and life was still moving forward.
Head Cheese is right: It’s just school.
I know I take my job too seriously. As interesting as it may be, and as seriously as I take my job, there are others that are more serious … compulsive … obsessive than I am about the work that we do. Many of my colleagues are dragging around sick, exhausted, and burned out. I am tired, exhausted even.
I will not, however, get sick again because of my job. There’s always going to be somebody that can do my job. Of this I am absolutely convinced. Again in the words of Head Cheese, “We are all replaceable.”
Life is too short. I plan to enjoy the journey as much as I can.
Dr. Phil says, “We do the things we have to so we can do the things we want to do.” I agree with Dr. Phil; I’m too old to be so consumed with my job that I lose sight of why I’m working to begin with.
I look at my sweet little poochies and I see the color gray making it’s presence known in their whiskered faces. “Where is the time going?” rolls through my mind each time I look at my precious boys. Although it was six years ago, it seems like only yesterday we brought an 8 week old Quixote home from the rescue shelter. And was it really six years ago that we came home from Sabinal with 16 week old Panza? Shaggy little Blanco Villa is the most recent addition to our family and I see him losing his “puppiness” daily as he matures into an older dog. I don’t want to lose any more time with them than I have to.
Most important, let’s not forget my dear husband! I am amazed the years have flown by as quickly as they have. Is it really possible we’ve been married for almost a quarter century? How can that be? Wasn’t it just yesterday we were undergrads blinding ourselves while watching the most amazing sunset over the MS building during our hustle from one class to the next? Wasn’t it last week we snuggled in the cold in that old Maverick with no heater? It had to have been yesterday. It couldn’t have been 27 years ago! No? Ah well, whenever I look at my Hub, I gaze easily past the passage of the years into the eyes of the guy with long wavy hair and goofy sense of humor I fell in love with oh so many years ago.
One last thought: I will not give up my summer break for “good experience.” I need the rest; granted the summer break will be shorter than what I’m used to. I need my time with my family. And I need to rest. Hub & I are not independently wealthy; I have to work and I always give my very best effort in every task I’m asked to complete. I have begun, in my wise old age, begun to set limits: I will not work past 5pm during the week and I will not work on the weekends. These are my time to rest and to be with my family. There are very rare occasions when I violate my promise and cram in a few hours work on an early Saturday morning. But like I said, these are rare instances.
I can deal with busy work weeks if it means workless weekends.
In the words of the nameless sage: “Nobody ever lay on their deathbed worrying about all the work they left undone at the office.”