One Regret

My current mantra is, “living a life without regrets.”

It would be hypocritical of me to wander blithely through my life if I didn’t address the one regret I do have.  It truly is the only one.

I regret never having children.

I will, in 4 days, be as old as my mother was when Hub & I married.  The reality of this brings me to tears every time I think about it.

I was almost a mom once.  Eight years ago.  It’s a sad story that I don’t want to go into now … again … I’ve written about it before.

She turned 20 this year.  I still often wonder how she’s doing … WHAT she’s doing.  Did she graduate from high school?  Go to college?  Have children?  Would I be a grandmother?  Seriously, that last question is just plain scary.  I’m too young to be a grandma!

But really.  I wonder about her.  To this day.  Eight years later.

Do I regret the life I have?  No.  I am blessed with a husband who loves me in spite of my many and varied faults and I love him right back.  We have a nice house, a new car (it’s a year old … but it’s still new), we live in a good neighborhood, and let’s not forget the goofy Barky Boys.  I have a good job that pays a comfortable income.  I make enough so despite the fact Hub still hasn’t found a full-time job, we’re able to make ends meet with the paychecks we receive.

I just wish we had been blessed with a child or two or ten along the way.

That’s my only regret.


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