I beat myself up after I got home this morning. I underestimated my route and shorted myself a mile.
The worst part? I was ready to give up at the 6 mile mark and for the last two miles of my walk, I was locked in a major battle of whether or not to call Hub to come pick me up. I pressed on and finished my loop. It was the hardest training day I’ve ever had.
I’ve always thought myself as tough. I’ve shared that I’m not a quitter. Today, I seriously doubted whether I was as tough as I thought I was. If I wasn’t, in fact, a quitter.
I’m thankful I finished & didn’t quit.
I took my shower, laid down, and cried.
Because I didn’t walk as far as I had planned.
Because I had wanted to give up.
Because it got to be really lonely out on the road this morning and in that moment as I lay crying, I felt like such a loser.
For inspiration, I pulled my Rock ‘n’ Roll training shirt out of the drawer and put it on.
Hub took me to brunch and after we finished, headed over to the Vespa dealership.
He was talking to one of the sales guys comparing the merits to two models he’s interested in. After several minutes of listening to Hub & the salesguy banter back & forth, I headed off to look at other scooters. The other sales guy headed over to me and asked what I was planning. Not exactly knowing what he was talking about, I gave him one of my infamous “Whuh?” looks. He pointed to my shirt.
Turns out he’s also in training for the Rock ‘n’ Roll. Since Hub & I were the only customers in the store, salesguy #2 & I had a little time to talk about the upcoming race. He told me he was struggling with finding time this weekend to get in his 9. Wow, it wasn’t just me!
In one of those extremely rare moments when I allowed myself to be transparent to a total stranger, I confessed that I was still hating myself for only doing 8 this morning. Much to my amazement, he built me up and helped me see that even though I had set out to do 9, doing 8 was still impressive because there aren’t too many people that do what we do.
And he’s right.
Even though I didn’t achieve my long day goal today, I did do something … AM doing something … that only a small percentage of people have ever tried to do.
I don’t feel like a loser anymore.
I’m going to crank out 10 next week
and I’m not going to call Hub to come pick me up.