There are a few blogs that I enjoy reading on a fairly regular basis. Some of these are written by dads celebrating daddyhood. For the most part, they’re pretty funny and that’s why I enjoy reading them.
I came across a link to a blog a few moments ago to a wannabe daddy’s site that really made me stop and pause for a moment. I felt badly for the writer and his wife and, after reading the first entry, I realized that even though hubby & I have been dealing with our infertility for more than two decades (whoa, where’s the time gone!) we really don’t dwell on it.
And this is a good thing.
Looking back at all that God has blessed hubby and me with over the past 22 years, it’s hard to not be thankful for all that we’ve been given.
As I was scrolling through the wannabe’s entry, I realized how thankful I am that hubby & I don’t obsess over the fact that we are childless. This guy, unfortunately, only writes about the prospect of impending fatherhood.
What if it doesn’t happen? For him & his wife or for me & hubby.
I can’t speak for them, I entered into this guy’s life via his blog for only a few brief moments.
For hubby & me, we’ve learned to expect the unexpected and appreciate all that we’ve been blessed with.
I was speaking to one of my colleagues yesterday about our most recent failed attempt at adoption. I told her that hubby & I have decided not to pursue adoption anymore. However, if an opportunity falls into our laps, that’s another story.
She looked at me with a look of total incomprehension because she couldn’t understand why we weren’t moving heaven and earth to make our family complete with a child. I get this look a lot from people that are parents. Even though they don’t mean it, it does hurt. She asked, “If you’re not pursuing adoption, how do you expect an opportunity to ‘fall into your lap?'” She was shocked when I told her that our most recent attempt was literally a phone call out of the blue. I explained to her that the reality of private adoption is NOTHING like how it’s portrayed on “Oprah” or “Dr. Phil.”
So, why don’t I talk about our infertility?
Because even though I know in my mind that I am not a failure as a woman because I can’t conceive a child, my heart still cries out that I am less of a woman precisely because of this.
Childlessness = failure.
Hubby tells me continually that I’m not a failure … I need to look at all I’ve accomplished. I guess that in a man’s world and from a man’s perspective, I’m thisclose to being Donald Trump.
So really … why don’t I talk about our infertility?
Because I seriously don’t want to dwell on what I don’t have, what I’m not able to do, and what I can’t have. The Lord has richly blessed hubby and me with many things both tangible & intangible.
We are content.
Who can ask for anything more?