Herein Lies the Conundrum

Hubby & I went window shopping yesterday in anticipation of our new arrival.

Not an easy task since we want to go full-out and buy, buy, buy. But we can’t. We have to be level-headed and emotionally strong because this adoption could still fall apart. Hubby & I have to be mentally prepared for the worst to happen, and yet …

It’s hard to be excited and emotionally detached at the same time.

So we’ve made a “Must Purchase NOW” list. We tried to stick to this list. Honest, we did. Thankfully, we were only window shopping.

During our adventure, we happened upon infant socks and silly hats and fuzzy toys and more varieties of bottles than we ever imagined were possible. At each corner we had to constantly ask ourselves if the items we were looking at and drooling over were on the “Must Purchase NOW” list or not. Most weren’t.

The “Must Purchase NOW” list only contains one item at the moment: a car seat.

We know that should all lights flash green on delivery day that the hospital officials won’t let us leave the premises with our precious bundle without a car seat firmly anchored in the backseat of our car.

It is so hard to be emotionally detached because I want to buy a bassinet and diapers and formula and burp cloths and rattles and silly hats and fuzzy toys and onesies and bottles and bibs NOW. The little guy’s going to need them, right? They should be on the “Must Purchase NOW” list, right?

Queen Mum is waiting for the word to, as she put it, “release the purse strings” and lavish, lavish, lavish on her new grandson. I wish I could say NOW.

But I can’t. Not yet.

The conundrum: planning, hoping, & dreaming about the future with our little guy and steeling our emotions if this adoption falls apart.

Thankfully, this season … the waiting-for-the-baby-to-be-born season … will be short.

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