Better to be thot a fool …

Don’t you ever wish you could “take back” things that you say?

I do.

Picture it: I researched an issue from every possible angle for a meeting that was scheduled after school yesterday. All the “major players” from the campus and district were there. The meeting’s proceeding smoothly and the “majors” are impressed that I’ve taken all aspects of the issue into consideration before presenting my proposal. I present my proposal with an “ideal” outcome and a “realistic” outcome. Brilliant! Everyone involved thought it was a good proposal. This moment was one of the reasons my bosses have so much respect for me.

And then it happened.

One of the counselors asked a question about an aspect of my program that I really detest: oral administration of tests. I clinched my teeth and answered his question. Basically, he wanted to know if my little corner of the fiefdom would still be available should students need their tests read to them. I said there would always be a need for my little corner and yes, we’ll always be available to implement that accommodation.

And then I said, “which is always SUCH a terrific use of my certificate …” In my defense, I thought I’d said it under my breath.

I didn’t. It was one of those “Oh crap, did I really just say that out loud?” moments.

Imagine the embarassed sound of uncomfortable silence and let’s just throw in the sound of crickets chirping to make the moment that much more humiliating, shall we?

I was talking to a colleague earlier in the day about how I’ve worked so hard over the past four years to build and repair the reputation of my department both on campus and within the district and how, if the proposed program isn’t supported properly by my staff, all of my hard work over the past several years will be destroyed in a matter of days.

I can’t take back what I said and I hope the “majors” won’t remember my comment.

My School Admin prof said that we need to acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, and move on. I’ll try, but it’s so much easier to sit back, have a pity-party, and beat myself up over one very stupid comment made.

One last parting blow to myself and then I’ll wrap this one up …

“‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” ~ Mark Twain

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